GRACE AND RELATIONSHIPS


There are many people who do not realize the power of words on their relationships. Our words can either make or mar our relationships and marriages. They are an important aspect of our relationships with the people who are important in our lives. Words are the building blocks of successful relationships but they can also be the stumbling block of unsuccessful relationships.

Solomon communicated in Proverbs 12:18 “Careless words stab like sword but wise words bring healing.”

Dr. Gary Chayman in his book “The five love languages” said “Verbal compliments or words are powerful communicators of love.” Every thing we say to our partner or spouse can be a sign of our love or make them feel unloved. Our words can either increase their self-esteem or devalue them.

Some people find simple statements such as “Thank you” difficult to say. Some would prefer that you hang them than to say “I am sorry.” Our words really have more power than we really think. A wise man once said that “little children cry for it: grown men die for it.”

Saying ‘thank you’ has a way of emphasizing good behavior. When we say ‘thank you’ for the small things that people do for us, then they are encouraged to do big things for us. Words of gratitude create a positive atmosphere for building happy homes and successful relationships.

For our relationships to enjoy flavor, we need the cooperation of the people closest to us.  The greatest motivator is praise. Praise is one sure way to raise people’s esteem. When you see people do things right, blow their trumpet for them. Immediate praise creates immediate impact.

When we find ourselves saying words of criticism, condemnation and complaining for a prolonged period of time, it will be necessary for us to reassess the situation. We could end up winning many battles of arguments and end up losing our relationships.

Some people just want to have the final say because they are God. They say things like “No way, I must give them a piece of my mind. I will say everything I feel. I don’t care how they feel.” You may get people to know how you feel and end up letting them know that you lack wisdom.

Proverbs 26:12 says “Do you see man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than him.”

We must make a commitment to maturity instead of being rash; we should be quick to listen and slow to speak. Our goal should be to try to better understand our partners, spouse or children.

When we repent and honour each other’s feelings we will lay the platform for joy in our relationships. We should seek to listen to understand then speak to be understood.

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
– Ephesians 4:29

Your spoken words can be your dependable servant or greatest undoing. Jesus communicated and lived grace without ever using the word “grace”. But he realized how the right word could make a confirmed adultress being loved and not condemned. His words could make a chief tax collector abandon his office and follow him. His words kept multituldes with him on the mountain though hungry but remained with him.

You can use your words to build more friendships and achievement in your personal and business life. The right words can build an atmosphere of peace and grace where everything within its reach survives and thrives.

Don’t keep saying things you don’t mean to your partner and continually providing the excuse that you don’t really mean what you say.” Your negative words are pins that deflating the balloons of happiness.  But gracious words that don’t condemn can provide wings for the most depressing to fly.  

You can avoid strife and any case where grief is the result of your choice of words. Realize the content of your words is based on the context of your heart. If you had on to the law as truth, you will always justify the need to critical and judgemental.

Take your time to reflect on the goodness of God in your life based on the operation of grace. Meditate on the person of Jesus as revealed in the scriptures and you will fill heart with such grace that transforms your conversation. What you are on the inside is often louder than what you say. Don’t leave bad memories in people’s minds. Leave them with hopes. Leave with love and leave them with dreams.

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